A young lady came to me crying and said.. "I have always been a very happy and strong minded person. Never to say Never and Never to take no for an answer." So I asked her what changed that.. Here's what she said:
I met a guy who I thought was my soul mate. He was my everything, he meant the world to me. I did everything to make him happy. Whatever he asked of me I commanded. He gave me my only child so I felt I owed him. I wanted to go back to school and pursue my dreams but he said that I didn't need to. He promised to always take care if me. I was a stay at home mom so I took a gig babysitting a few kids for pocket change. However I found myself spending my money on all the things he asked for. Video games, sneakers, clothes, jewelry.. Whatever he asked for it really didn't matter. At the end of the day I had nothing left for me but how could I complain when he was taking care of me. I felt like me doing all those things was my way of taking care of him. He never had money to buy me nice things but I understood it because he spends his money paying the rent and the bills. He said I didn't really need anything anyway because I was always at home anyway. All the "special" requests like the 3sums, the lesbian sex for his pleasure, the anal penetration that hurt like hell, the swinger's parties... Anything to make him happy... My birthday came and I wanted to go out and celebrate with my friends. He got very angry and accused me of being interested in other men. Everything went downhill from there. That's when all the abuse and disrespect started. I told him I wasn't going to take his abuse and he flat out asked me "Where are you gonna go". A huge slap in the face that was because he was right. Where was I going? I had no one. I shunned away from my family to make him happy so I can't go begging to them. I couldn't understand what went wrong and what happened to me that I became this weak person with no voice, backbone or morals???
I met a guy who I thought was my soul mate. He was my everything, he meant the world to me. I did everything to make him happy. Whatever he asked of me I commanded. He gave me my only child so I felt I owed him. I wanted to go back to school and pursue my dreams but he said that I didn't need to. He promised to always take care if me. I was a stay at home mom so I took a gig babysitting a few kids for pocket change. However I found myself spending my money on all the things he asked for. Video games, sneakers, clothes, jewelry.. Whatever he asked for it really didn't matter. At the end of the day I had nothing left for me but how could I complain when he was taking care of me. I felt like me doing all those things was my way of taking care of him. He never had money to buy me nice things but I understood it because he spends his money paying the rent and the bills. He said I didn't really need anything anyway because I was always at home anyway. All the "special" requests like the 3sums, the lesbian sex for his pleasure, the anal penetration that hurt like hell, the swinger's parties... Anything to make him happy... My birthday came and I wanted to go out and celebrate with my friends. He got very angry and accused me of being interested in other men. Everything went downhill from there. That's when all the abuse and disrespect started. I told him I wasn't going to take his abuse and he flat out asked me "Where are you gonna go". A huge slap in the face that was because he was right. Where was I going? I had no one. I shunned away from my family to make him happy so I can't go begging to them. I couldn't understand what went wrong and what happened to me that I became this weak person with no voice, backbone or morals???
The moral of this story was to always make sure to depend on you. Never let a person feel like they are your life net because the moment you do that they feel as if they have complete control and that you could never survive without them. That's when the disrespect will come into play. Never give so much of you to the point that you are completely lost without them. There was life before them and there shall be life after them. Trust that GOD was trying to tell you all along that they weren't right for you anyway. Compromise in a relationship without compromising you and your morals. Think with your head always and most importantly don't forget to make yourself happy.
The woman in this story is doing just fine BTW..
Bravo! I have been that woman more times than I care to count. You give some excellent advice here, and I know there are a lot of females who could benefit from this post, I was one of them not too many years ago!~Blessings~A.D.J.
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