Be A Winner

What makes you a winner? Its not always about being in a race or competition and coming in first place. Being a winner is putting your best foot forward and accomplishing what you set out to do. It is all about self achievement. People often hear me say that I never lose. And I don't. I have never been nor will I ever be a lose. That doesn't mean that everything I want I get. It just means that I gave my all.
In life we are not always going to get everything we desire. I say if you want it bad enough put your heart and soul into it. Give it all that you've got. If it doesn't happen for you then don't give up, go Harder. But be smart about. Reevaluate, look at it from all angles and see where you went wrong the first time and try again. But just know that everything may not be for you so don't force it. It doesn't make you a loser because you didn't get it. You are winner because you tried.
The only way to lose is if you don't try or if you give up.
Be a winner in everything you do. There is no losing in that.

Oh and can't is never in a Winner's vocabulary.

In Honor Of my Dad. Gone But never forgotten. Happy Birhday

I was very young and getting a dollar from your parents was a lot because it went a lot further than it does today. He came by to check on us on his way to work. His black car was double-parked on Linden Blvd. Before he got in the car, I asked him for a dollar and he gave me two and told me not to spend it all at one time. That was the last I saw my father alive. I came home from school and saw mommy crying. She was watching something on the news. “Correction Officer shot and killed visiting his mom. The hero was gunned down as he tried to help a woman during an attempted robbery.” And there was his picture, plastered on the screen. I don’t know why I remember that so well. I was young so I didn’t really understand that daddy wasn’t ever coming back. Even after going to the wake and seeing him lay there in that coffin, I still didn’t grasp it. I remember sitting on the floor next to my mom as she laid in her bed watching television. I was drawing on my chalkboard. I drew a picture (well stick figures cuz I can’t draw for shit) of my sister and I and my mom and dad holding hand. Then I turned to my mom and said “Mommy when is Daddy coming?” My mother broke down the truth to me that day that he was never coming back. That was the day I became afraid of death. In honor of my Father’s birthday yesterday 9/15, I celebrate the years that I was able to know and love him. It hurts me still but I am a product of greatness and I will never let him down.
For all of you with children; love them as if each day will be the last you spend with them because what you give your kids they will remember forever and a day.
Happy Birthday Richard Roberts.

When is EVERYTHING too much?

A young lady came to me crying and said.. "I have always been a very happy and strong minded person. Never to say Never and Never to take no for an answer." So I asked her what changed that.. Here's what she said:
I met a guy who I thought was my soul mate. He was my everything, he meant the world to me. I did everything to make him happy. Whatever he asked of me I commanded. He gave me my only child so I felt I owed him. I wanted to go back to school and pursue my dreams but he said that I didn't need to. He promised to always take care if me. I was a stay at home mom so I took a gig babysitting a few kids for pocket change. However I found myself spending my money on all the things he asked for. Video games, sneakers, clothes, jewelry.. Whatever he asked for it really didn't matter. At the end of the day I had nothing left for me but how could I complain when he was taking care of me. I felt like me doing all those things was my way of taking care of him. He never had money to buy me nice things but I understood it because he spends his money paying the rent and the bills. He said I didn't really need anything anyway because I was always at home anyway. All the "special" requests like the 3sums, the lesbian sex for his pleasure, the anal penetration that hurt like hell, the swinger's parties... Anything to make him happy... My birthday came and I wanted to go out and celebrate with my friends. He got very angry and accused me of being interested in other men. Everything went downhill from there. That's when all the abuse and disrespect started. I told him I wasn't going to take his abuse and he flat out asked me "Where are you gonna go". A huge slap in the face that was because he was right. Where was I going? I had no one. I shunned away from my family to make him happy so I can't go begging to them. I couldn't understand what went wrong and what happened to me that I became this weak person with no voice, backbone or morals???

The moral of this story was to always make sure to depend on you. Never let a person feel like they are your life net because the moment you do that they feel as if they have complete control and that you could never survive without them. That's when the disrespect will come into play. Never give so much of you to the point that you are completely lost without them. There was life before them and there shall be life after them. Trust that GOD was trying to tell you all along that they weren't right for you anyway. Compromise in a relationship without compromising you and your morals. Think with your head always and most importantly don't forget to make yourself happy.

The woman in this story is doing just fine BTW..

United We Stand Strong, Divided We Fall Short Always of True Sisterhood

I wrote this blog to mentally prepare myself for my next show. One of my favorite topics to discuss is The Bond between Sisters. I don't mean "Sistahs", I mean all women of all races and nationalities. There was a time when women would come together and stand strong for one another. Take the time when women were fighting for our rights to vote, we fought together. Let a Woman's child go missing and we are all United to help.
Exactly when did that end? What happened and how do we get it back?
I watch women all the time criticize the next woman simply becasue she doesn't like her. I see women all the time calling each other every name but the one given to them by their parents. Why? Out of jealousy that they would never admit to. Is it really that serious? We sleep with each other's men but we are ready to fight when someone does it to us. And to make ourselves feel better we somehow blame that woman at home for not knowing how to keep her man. Don't get me wrong, you can't help who you love but don't make disrespect that woman to help yourself sleep at night (or sleep with her man), just be real with why you are doing it and have some class to your ass.
Instead of being there for one another we judge each other's situations as if we have never been in them situations ourselves. Or like we are to good, too pretty or too smart to be in those situations. (I actually heard someone say that and that annoyed the hell out of me) We talk behind each other's backs like cowards. We got the opposite sex making us "respect the game". Exactly what game are we supposed to be playing again? Someone please remind me. Ladies you sound stupid playing a man's game. You sound ridiculous with your "my nigga this" and with your foul mouths calling your female friends "your Bitch". When did being a lady mean that you dress like a man, talk like a man and then demand to be treated like a lady? When did being someone's friend mean you smile in their face and talk shit about them when they are not around? When did being a women mean you going toe to toe with a man over some BS other than fighting for your life? When did being a lady mean you going to going to the club every weekend just to meet another Fuck? Since you rely on the playing by the man's rules and what he thinks of you, ask a man what his idea of a "lady" and a "bitch" is and see what he says. Now you don't have to agree with this but you answer that same question and then look in the mirror and tell me what you represent.
I want nothing more than to see my Sisters rise about the BS of knocking each other down. In REAL Sisterhood, when you are down your Sisters are there to help you up. I can't wait to see the day when women rule the world. Be a believer and be your Sister's Keeper. Believe it or not, it all has to do with your love for yourself. When you have that LOVE for you then you won't have it in you to hate another.
My idea of Sisterhood is this: I got your back always, whether you need it or not. A true Sister doesn't just check on you when something happens. A real Sister doesn't say call if you need anything and then sit back and wait for the call, she will call you and check on you if she hasn't heard from you. Sisterhood is a bond and it is knowing that no matter what, you have a support group full of women that knows your struggles first hand. Why can we turn to a man before we can turn to each other?
How do we become Sisters once again. Can we or am I just living a pipe dream? United we will stand Strong and Divided we will fall short Always of True Sisterhood.

What Hinders You?

Take a minute to think about what hinders you from getting all the things you want out of life. Most people will come up with one or more of the following reasons: I can't find the time, my kids, I don't have the money, I don't know where to start, I'm afraid to fail... Whatever your reason for NOT making it happen is just an excuse. If you can find the time to party, hang out, go to dinner or whatever those extracurricular activities you get into, then you can find the time to make your dreams come true. You get up everyday for work and go hard for your job, why not go hard for yourself? You making everybody rich but you.. Take the first step, even if its a small step TAKE IT... Don't be afraid to fail. The only way to fail is if you don't try. As long as you give you all then you are already succeeding. Even it doesn't work the first time, don't go home, go harder and evaluate why it didn't work. Stay on it and make it work... Let's Go. We all can be successful if we REALLY want to. See you at the top.

When Soul meets Mate

When your soul meets its mate, your hearts dance with each other from the very first date.
Same beat same forum, same rhythm same song.
Nothing in the universe can change a feeling so strong. Everything feels right and nothing feels wrong.
Two souls colliding to form a masterpiece, two souls become one in a perfect harmony.
Time won't have to tell, cuz the souls are automatically united. Separation is not optional, no matter how much you fight it.
One starts a sentence and the other finishes the thought. Minds naturally in sync cuz some things just can't be taught.
Hearts beats on one accord, ideally in tuned and certainly without fault.
Look into their eyes, into the soul of your mate; The soul that your soul fell in love with .. on the first date.

Some people will never find their soul mates because the souls must find each other, but when they do find each other learn to recognize it and cherish them because you only get one.

The Touch Of Love

When you touch me it seems as though the world is at peace, and anything I worry about becomes deceased. The time when I was resting and you gently moved the hair from my brow, I think about it now and it makes me smile. I sit at my desk and diligently work, I remember when you kissed me down there and my insides jerk. The touch of love is like being touched by an Angel, it sends chills up your spine and makes the disabled feel enabled. I close my eyes and kiss your image, touch your body, taste your spillage. Ummmm The real touch of love leaves you craving all the time, getting better with time like a bottle of wine. I love to be touched, only by you. You caress me gently like a fragile jewel. Constant thoughts of you rubbing my neck, kissing my back with the softest pecks. I’m in deep anticipation of the next time our skin will touch, to be touched by my Angel…You are the touch of Love..

The Power of Words

Sticks and Stones (yadda yadda). People can say what they want (yadda yadda)... The truth that most won't admit is that words have a lot of control over our emotions. If this weren't true then you wouldn't be on FB, Myspace or your Blog telling the world about what someone had the nerve to say. No matter how you word it, be it in a prayer for them or a good cussing out, those words effected your emotions somehow some way.
People are allowed to say and write things with no regards to how other people's feelings and you are expected to "let it go" or "ignore" it. Or what about the kids out there cussing up a storm and have no idea what they look like doing so?

I post things on FB all the time. Most are thought provoking topics to motivate those that need them. I learned that you have to be very careful of the things you put up because there are those searching for motivation to give them that push or to help them through a trying situation. I love to inspire and motivate, so when I get that inbox or that comment that says thank you, those two words move me and motivate me to go harder or to reach further. The power of words is Powerful.
While some will turn their noses up to this blog, I know there are some that will take heed and choose their word wisely when putting them out there for the world to hear and see.
These are the negative and positive effects of the power of words. While they can lift you up they can also break you down and make you feel so small.

Perfectly Imperfect

I am perfectly imperfect. I never claim to be any better than any one else. It is and has always been my prayer that everyone around me lives up to their true potential.
The day we stop selling ourselves short, is the day that we all become that much closer to understanding who we are and what we were put here to do. Anything is possible so if you want it then make it happen. You can't fail at anything when you put your all into it. It may not happen the way you expect but it will happen the way its supposed to. Stop making excuses and make moves. Where there's a will there's a way.
My goal in life is to be happy and to live up to my fullest potential.
Help someone along because many are lost and need guidance. No one is to judge the next person because we are all perfectly imperfect.

MY DAILY OM

For better or worse, many people have been raised to believe that communicating in an honest and open way will not get them what they want. They have learned, instead, to play mind games or go on power trips in the service of their ego’s agenda. Like all relationships and situations in our lives, we must look within for both the problem and the solution. Reacting to the situation by getting upset will only make things worse. Only by pulling back and digging within us can we begin to see what has hooked us into the mess in the first place. We will most likely find unprocessed emotions. The more we are able to do this, the less we will be bothered by other people’s dramas. Whenever people come into our lives, they have come for a reason, to show us something about ourselves that we have not been able to see. They can come and stay for 20 days or 20 years. When people try to hook us into their patterns with mind games and power trips, we can remind ourselves that there is a lesson to be learned here. This takes the focus off the person you think is the problem and puts it back on us, giving us the opportunity to change the situation from the inside out rather trying to change someone else.

Simple but Deep Thoughts of Me

I am simple. Simple in the sense that I do not require a lot (just attention). But not simple in the sense that I am dumb or stupid. I am like a sponge because I soak up so much knowledge. I don’t use big words when I speak but trust me when I tell you that I am intelligent. I am driven, not only by the haters but by the lovers. I don’t lose in anything. I may not always come in first place but I put my best in all that I do; how could you ever lose in doing that? It’s wonderful to know that you touch people’s hearts and people’s lives, but I want to feel the love that I make everyone else around me feel. I promise myself success and I will be nothing but successful. I will not tolerate disrespect from anyone. Funny thing is I let people THINK they are getting over because that rope is very long and they will eventually hang themselves. I will never stop being me but I will eventually stop being who I am to other people.
I have a whole lot going through my mind today. And I can go on and on. But the basis for me writing this is to say this. Treat people the way you expect them to treat you (100% across the board). Be real to yourself because in doing that you are being real to other’s as well. Don’t be quick to judge people it just reflects on who you are as a person. Be a person of your word always.
I am simple but if you really know me then you already knew that.

STAY FOCUSED

As wonderful as it is to know that you are everything to everybody, sometimes you must take a second, stand back and reevaluate what you are to yourself and what others are to you. The week that this blog was written I made a conscious decision to remove myself from the distraction of the internet. I spend way too much time of Facebook. That time should be spent writing, researching, designing, doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
It is important to always remember that YOU are responsible for YOUR happiness, YOUR emotions, YOUR success and YOUR downfall. Never allow anyone or anything to come into your life and take over. People ask me why I am so guarded at times and its simply because the wall doesn't come down until someone helps me take it down, one brick at a time. If you want to be happy, make yourself happy. If you want to be respected, try respecting yourself first. If you want to succeed in life, try working harder and playing less. YOU are YOUR priority and YOU are responsible for YOU. Wtop blaming shit on other people. Stay focused on what's most important and that's YOU!!

I DO? I DON'T?

In sickness and in health, til death do us part?? Those are the vows that we must take in order to prove to someone that we want to spend the rest of our lives with them? I don't know about that. In my opinion, people get married and think that's the end of the audition. Yea you got the role but you must know how to keep it. Vows are a promise to stick it out through thick and thin, but on the flip side of that it is also a prose to love honor and respect. One hand washes the other so if I say I want a divorce because you're a liar then I break my vows?? I'm wrong and ur right?? Let's change the vows!!! I promise to love you, respect you and fuck you good at all times. I promise to be loyal and honest too. I understand that I need to stay on my game to make this marriage work. I promise to never get too comfortable and the minute I start slacking by being unfaithful, disloyal, dishonest, disrespectful and stop making you happy these vows are null and void. Now let's make this work!!
THOSE are the vows that I can get with and I think you should have to renew your marriage certificate every five years, but I guess that's a whole 'nother blog...

Finding your inner strength

Many of us have experienced things in life, whether they were good or bad. What is most important is that we understand the need to get back up, dust ourselves off and get back out there. Do not allow the weight of the world to hold you down. I believe that mistakes are lessons in life that you learned nothing from. It is so imperative to be able to dig down deep within yourself and find that inner strength. We were built to withstand fights, struggles, adversities, heartaches, and so much more. Don’t give up and don’t give in because there is so much to learn. Take the most out of life that you possibly can. That’s what you were put here for. Find your purpose and find your inner strength to LIVE, LEARN, LAUGH AND LOVE…

Unconditional Me

I remember what it was like to hurt. When every breath I took made me feel like an asthmatic. Someone asked me not too long ago if love hurts and my reply was no. Love doesn't hurt, people hurt. I went on to say that love should never hurt. Someone else's response was it you've never been hurt by them then you've never really loved them. I get it now!! Love is an emotion that could make you feel as high as a kite or as low as the ground. Love can be a blessing and a curse. Its easy to say love yourself enough not to hurt, but that's impossible. Once love is nestled in your heart that's when the roller coaster ride begins.
Don't be so hesitant about letting go and allowing yourself to give and receive love unconditionally. If you don't let go and allow love to happen then you might be cheating yourself of something amazing. But if you do allow love to happen and it doesn't work then you are left with regrets.
Its okay to give of yourself just make sure you keep a little bit of yourself so you are not completely lost when its over. Don't regret anything, just remember the good times and learn from the bad. Your time together is your time together, your time apart is the rest of your life. Make it count!!!

FRIENDS

I am incredibly thankful for the many people I have come in contact with throughout my life. While they have not ALL been positive unions, I believe that they were put here to teach me something. It is important to understand that not everyone is introduced into your life to be your FRIEND. It is also important to understand that we are all individuals and we won't always live up to each other's standards. Just as in a relationship, just because a person does not always to what you expect them to do does not mean they are not your friend. A friend is one that will always be there when you NEED them and not whenever you WANT them. I am blessed to have a few people in my life that I can say are my FRIENDS in every sense of the word. To those friends I am so thankful for you. Thank you for inspiring me and motivating me. It's a wonderful feeling to be loved and to love in return. Thank you...

Gun Violence....

Parents always left with the question why
Why did my baby have to die
All at the hands of someone that didn't think
That the trigger they pulled had any consequence
When did guns become our weapon of choice
What happened to standing up and using our voice
When did guns become our choice for fun
Knowing that once a life is taken it can't be undone
People are dying for no reason at all
People of all sizes, big and small
There is no where to hide
there is no place safe
It has no prejudice, it targets no race
Once the trigger is pulled
it takes its aim
It has no friends
because it knows no names
Many more funerals will be planned
Until we command a stand
And guns are banned
From the reckless hands
Planned and unplanned violence
That's spanned across the land
Its killing everyday
and I just can't understand
When do we get back our Holy Land?
Gun violence is taking over so what are YOU gonna do about it
Nothing at all???
Or maybe you will when its your child dead
on the concrete floor

Written in dedication to Marquel Peters Killed By Stray Bullet While In Church With Family on New Year’s Eve.....

What is your purpose?

What if tomorrow never came for me?
How would you remember my yesterdays.............
I would like to be remembered for the woman that made a difference in society
The woman the took a stand And had a hand in ending poverty
I want to be known as a good wife
One who gave such meaning to her husbands life
For the somewhat obedient child
That no matter what always made her mom smile
I want to be known as the mother that took such great care of her boys
The mother that always gave everything from the Love all the way down to the toys
I want to be the proud mother of Two amazing brothers
Two lawyers, two doctors Or better yet, the next Black President and Vice President of America
I want people to stand over my tomb with smiles
and tell story after story about how happy they were that I came into their lives
I want to be that voice
For the people that think they have no choice
I want people to say That I came with a purpose
and my living wasn't in vain
As you all look at my dash or what will one day be
I want it to be overextending in representing what my life really means

Live life the the fullest and be all that you were destined to be. The only person that is stopping you, is you. Live hard, Laugh hard, Love hard... Go Hard or Die soft.
What is your purpose in life???? If you are 30 and over then you should be able to answer this question. If you can't then get to thinking.

Be your BEST...

I thank GOD for the ability to be able to write and express myself freely. There were many points in my life where I felt like I would never become anything more than just a victim. A victim to my own misfortunes. I lost my Daddy at a young age and I miss him everyday that I am alive. I was asked one day if I felt like the absence of my Dad had any effects on my relationships and I sad no. Now, looking back I would have to say yes. Because I didn't have a man in my life growing up to love me, I always felt the need to be loved by men. Admitting this secret to myself has opened up my eyes and my mind and allowed me to see that I didn't need to be loved by a man, I needed to be loved by ME. At 29 is when I can say that I learned to accept all of my misfortunes in life and love ME for who I am. I posses unimaginable strength. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I accept that it is all a part of God's BIG plan. There are many people in my life that have hurt me physically, mentally and emotionally. Well maybe I should say that I allowed them to hurt me... But sometimes you gotta let people be who they are. It is up to you whether you want to accept them and try to guide them or just reject them and move on. I am for empowering men and women to recognize their best potentials and reach for the moon.
I am blessed and I thank God for all the strength and knowledge that he has bestowed upon me. It is my goal to become the BEST me that I can be. I owe it to my children to set a good example of what a MOTHER and a HUMAN BEING should be. If I am to expect the best from them then I need to show them what the best is.
Love yourself enough to accept nothing but greatness from others and life period.

Intrigued by a GOD

Last night I climbed the stairway to heaven while he nestled behind me
Pulling my hair and yelling for God
I wanted him to take me
Not THAT God but THIS God
I was in my praying position, knees on the stairs and my head laying on the landing
Only thing is I wasn't praying or playing
I was getting a taste of what it felt like to be fucked by a God
Downstairs was round two
Back on my knees again
but this time I wasn't praying or fucking
I'm drinking from the fountain of a God

Last Night

I'm stepping in the shower with the scent of his manhood all over my face

I would rather stay sweaty and sticky, instead of washing him away

As I wash myself I imagine they are his hands invading my space

Trying to carry the memories of last night with me today

Reminiscing on how his sex is the best I ever had

We fuck for hours and when it's over I'm mad

Not because I am not satisfied, that's not it all

I just want him to always be knee deep in me, with his dick snuggled in my walls

ADickted to his love? Yeah I will admit

That man lays the pipe down, Damn he is the shit.....